I know you mean well
When you complement
My body,
It is the praise
You are longing to hear
About yourself.
The thing that makes you elated
Beyond any other achievement.
As if your other achievements
Aren’t saving lives and healing the world.
But your words
Drag me
Back to a place
Where I was not happy
When my body was never good enough
And I had that confused
With my worth.
This is why
I cannot bring myself
To feed into your need
For body praise,
I am fighting a battle
To prove
Your kindness, your empathy, your strength
Are what deserve your elation.

The best people
Are the ones
Trying
To improve themselves
So they can love
Humanity more

think of all the brilliant ideas
wasted on ears
that weren’t turned on
because the brain
was busy planning out
what would make it
sound smart next

It is difficult
To exist in this world
To a different soundtrack
Than everyone else.
If you are adaptable
You compensate
For your different tune
And learn the tricks
To make your notes
Sound like the loud ones
You are used to hearing.
All that beautiful
Talent hidden
From the world.
After a while,
Covering up
Is the only way
You know to live.

The saving hope,
Is that the quiet truth
Playing only to you
Will draw you
To the other people
With different tunes.
You just start dancing
With them
It feels so natural.
These are your people
Who can help you learn
How valuable
Your sincere song is.

We are friends
Out of a shared understanding.
It is nothing
To feel this empty ache
All the time,
If it is what is driving us
To improve humanity.

How can a
To do list
Cause this much
Cold acid
To collect in my esophagus
As I try to sleep.
Make the world seem cruel
My brain inept
My friends hate me.

Then I remember to
Feel the pain
Acknowledge its presence
Give it an accepting place
To hang out.
Suddenly its power is gone
It is just me
It is only a to do list.

I make him happy.
But his love manifests
In exclaiming
About me,
Turning my actions
Into his possessions.
I can’t help,
But mute
Myself
To prevent this ownership.

Your kiss
Was a monologue
Instead of a
Conversation.

the brightest gift
i received
was a friend
intentionally
telling me
i am a delight
to be around
just being myself

He has
Built a plastic
Armor
Skyline
Around his
Goodness
For people to
Recognize him
As a success
But the act
Has left an
Injured look in his eyes
So that I know
The good is still
There.