How my heart soars
When I can feel
A man noticing me
I try to be built
On sturdier foundation
Don’t need a man
But want one
Am in love with life itself
Not waiting around
For him to come save me
But what is this
Elation
Almost hysteria
When he notices me
A second too long
His face lights up
When I walk in the room
He looks at me
With understanding
Knitted through his brow
A little awe
Etched in there too
I sit back
Enjoying the bliss
Of being desired
Rather than living
And getting to know him more
As if my prize
Was simply knowing I have
A power over him

I don’t want that power
Unless I want him
For how he makes me feel free
For his lack of stereotypical manliness
For his drive to tie up and repair
The frayed edges of humanity

My heart soaring exposes
The deep-rooted social implant
In my brain
That my goal in life
Is to be taken care of
By a man
I’m working on dissecting and removing it
Sometimes my heart says
I want him
Without a doubt
Sometimes my heart is
A vain power hungry beast
Waiting
For a free ticket
And sometimes my heart
Is soft and strong
At the same time
Soft in admiration
Strong in protecting his
Goodness
I’m looking
For the
I want him
And soft and strong
At the same time